The World Hates Women (and Children) Via My Inbox
I try to avoid it, the world. So much of it is ugly and cruel and crass. I don't read analog magazines or periodicals, even the good ones. Almost a year ago I gave up on television; put it on the curb with a FREE sign and someone kindly took it away for me. The news and entertainment that I consume is relatively-ish consciously chosen, and about 97.62% of it comes via this internets.
But I do have to check my email. Webmail, workmail, ID-used-for-signing-up-for-thingsmail, etc. And that's where this torrent of crap, this noxious stream of woman-loathing, cock-obsessed brain poison pours into my psyche 2 to 47 times per day. It simply cannot be avoided, even with spam filters and junk email boxes and whatnot. Much like our culture at large, this unsolicited dogshit leaps every hurdle, climbs every mountain, lifts every unlocked window to slither in and vomit itself into my eyes.
So in the interest of science I've become a collector of email subject lines. Maybe if I do that they'll become silly to me. Maybe if I arrange them here I can keep them out of my head.
Spelling and grammar are left as-is, will update as often as can be stomached.TRIGGER WARNING, big time: while all of the below is vile and sad some of them are are worse than others. Much, much worse.
Women Are FuckDolls
I kept ramming her all night
Stephanie was so wet
Anna nicole Smith will love to stroke up to your love making machine
Twosomes and Threesomes are now possible
Learn all the dirty tricks
Sheila begged for more
Put your doughnut in her oven
Audrina loves riding me
Children Are Fuckdolls
From:'Alena Logrono' xxxx@xxxxx.pt
Sent: Thu Feb 19 5:49
To: me@myworkemailaddress
Priority: Normal
Subject: Shoking child porn
[Body]: Come to see the newest russian clips with tiny girls from 13 to 16 years old at http://xxxxx.info ! If you prefer child rapes, you must have a look at http://www.xxxxxxx.ru Check our best portal with child porn at http://xxxxxxx.com (we accept credit cards). Maybe you are looking for something special?! Best from the best - guys rape childrens and then kill them! Check it out at http://xxxxxxx.com and http://xxxxxx.com Or if you are 10 -15 years old,- or you have children in this age and wanna make some money with them?
I reported this to both AntiChildPorn.org and the National Center for Missing & Exploited Children. Nauseatingly enough there are eighty-seven places and ways to report this stuff- if there's an objectively better or best place to report please let me know. And report anything at all like this yourselves. I'm begging you.
You, Yer Cock, and How To Bang More Fuckdolls
Forget handjobs with this
Embarrassed with your lovestick size?
only 2 a day but 3 inches gained
Ensure your potence and make love everywhere
Women will divulge the beauty of your bulge
This is what every man needs
It will be hard to hide your bulgy male pride.
You can relax now, the blue pill will do everything for you.
Huge success in male augmentation
Safe and potent enhancement pills
Women don't love you for who you are...they love you for what you have.
Unleash your true organ growth potential
Be the one that girls hunt for!
Stay hard longer as long as you concentrate hard enough with our herbal solution
Satify your spouse
You will become popular among the hottest women.
Watch your organ hang between your legs
Wherein I Experience a Delayed Reaction to Some Seriously Unquantified Dipshittery
26 Sep 08
Oh no WONDER. It's been 28 days since I felt so hungry and cranky and needy and horrible and half-dead. How I can have been menstruating every four weeks for more than twenty years and STILL not recognize PMS is beyond me. I'm a slow learner I guess. I thought I was getting the flu, good lord.
No such luck. Just fucking hormones for the next seven or eight days. Hormones and hating everyone and being exhausted and weird and anxious and lonely and wanting something, anything, to comfort me completely. It never comes, complete comfort, though when the period actually starts it's a relative relief- physical pain is light years better than the utter psychic and emotional nausea of PMS.
Rumor has it that some women never experience PMS at all. In fact, some people, women included, think it's bullshit, a fabrication by delicate flowers like yours truly who simply can't cope with the rigors of, well, living. To them I say "go fuck yerself, hamface". Yeah you heard me. Hamface. Y'all walk a mile in my ovaries then we can talk. And hey, here's an idea: discounting the actual experience of actual women the world over in regards to their actual bodies in order to curry favor with the choads who think that women are oversensitive halfwits who can't live their way out of a paper bag just might make you a choad. (Also, the uterus doesn't "wander", trousers on the ladies is not of Satan, every sperm is not sacred, and voting for women who hate women is not a feminist statement). Food for thought.
And while we're at it (at what, exactly? Doesn't matter, I feel a roll coming on and this may make sense later. If it doesn't, well, see above), can I just mention that mere weeks ago I not only listened respectfully but also refrained from cursing, kicking or spitting at a man who said to me "You can keep your feminism". Just like that. Dismissed. (The kicker is it was a dude I was seeing. And if you think that didn't color by about 1000% my recent dissolution of our time together, my friend, you'd be the opposite of correct). But in that moment I was kind. Flummoxed, maybe so flummoxed that I was struck dumb, but I listened, best I could, thinking Someone I'm dating can't possibly be this unhinged from reality. Also He can't possibly believe that I'll fuck him after this.
But, you know, he was. And I did. Each moment is an opportunity to make a better choice, a choice that serves Truth, that serves our higher purpose, that serves us, etc etc blah bleargh. I say: sometimes we knowingly choose the wrong thing, just to see what it feels like. So I never shoplifted in high school- instead at 37 I kept seeing a man who shut me down when I talked about feminism. Everybody does dumb shit and I'm certainly no exception (I may, in fact, be the rule that proves the hypothetical exception when it comes to Doing Shit That Is Dumb).
But. The facts remain: I can (and do) have all the secondary sexual characteristics that make me female and parallel park. I can (and do) make more dough than the last two men I dated, combined. I can (and do) get PMS and wear trousers. My IQ is higher than that of McCain, Palin and Bush the Lesser, combined. And the next time some patronizing donkeyfucker says to me, or to you, that we can keep "our" feminism we all know exactly what to do now, don't we?
That's right, class. We say "good day, sir" and we keep on walking. It may take us a few weeks, or a few lays, but we just keep. The fuck. On walking.